Getting Railed On The Rails

Most, if not all, people who read this blog are probably aware that I have the self-proclaimed nickname "Nighttrain" My whole life I have always admired trains mostly because they always have a place to be and because they are historically important. Also, they are such powerful machines that are essential to daily life (Metra, the EL, freights) but most importantly when you are a kid you could chuck rocks at them without breaking anything or getting in trouble and yet you still felt like a BA Baracus.


You must be wondering why I am writing on trains, well, those stiffs in Europe have done it again. They decided to make a train for singles only. The wonderful stiff filled country of the Czech Republic, decided they wanted to entice its citizens ride the rails everyday instead of driving. So they decided to go after the most logical demographic, lonely, horned up, citizens of Prague. I think it would be pretty interesting if this happened on the Red Line, you would have a solid mixture of Frat boys named Chad wearing bright turquoise polos and a trucker hat that says "I Heart Beer" some homeless gents already passed out, a horrified mother who stepped onto the wrong car, a couple of nerds in suits hoping they will find the one, and probably some cat/bag ladies. The possibilities are obviously endless.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/22/prague-love-train_n_3320915.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird%20News

One thing I learned from taking the CTA and even taking a nap on the CTA once or six times is that Chicago is a pretty weird place. The Red Line is a weirder place at any time f the day.  I think the Singles Train would be great in places like Salt Lake where life is pretty lame, but in major cities, you are asking for a steamy Turkish Bathhouse with large windows that reaches speeds up to 50 mphs, and travels from 95th street to Howard. Great idea. Obviously Czechs really are stiffed up for this one... If ya know what I mean.



Since were on the topic of fucking around on public transportation, Wild Card of The Week goes to Mr. John, a bus driver who pranked some brats pretty hard on April Fools.

If you don't know this scene, we're not friends

In grade school long bus rides were the best way to annoyingly punish the teachers on the bus. A young Bill once sang 99 bottles of beer on the wall. I'm pretty sure the whole bus was annoyed, but every sang 99- about 89 then 10-0. With zero "bottles of beer on the wall" erupting the biggest applause ever. I've never realized how much punishment bus drivers take. Literally 70 kids screaming nonsense for an extended amount of time. Plus, you have your back to them so you have no idea what is going on. I guarantee that any bus driver in the 90's heard "NO YELLING ON THE BUS" or "This bus driver is an animal" hundreds of times, thanks to  Billy Madison.

But this fucking guy, pranked the brats who are too lazy to walk to school pretty hard. As a April Fools joke, one of my favorite days, he told the kids, on a Monday, that there was a flood and that school was going to be cancelled. After that, he said all they had to do was drive into school, check in and walk back to the bus... The bus went nuts, kids immediately started screaming. The underachievers were probably thinking it was a good idea not to do the weekends homework. A girl pulls out a smart phone to probably post a selfie on myspace.

A little later, the herd finds out that its just a hilarious and pretty cruel joke. The bus driver, Mr John. starts this devils laugh. You know this guy has been waiting for a year, if not, a life time, to get these kids back. Some little girl screams out "I hate you Mr. John!!!" His response, "I know" Genius. I wish the camera would show the ear to ear smile on his face, cause it would have been a hilarious cover
photo.

 Well anyways, here it is your Wild Card of the Week.  Mr John, from parts unknown.

http://www.digitalspy.com/odd/news/a483949/bus-driver-pranks-students-school-is-canceled-funny-video.html


Well thats it folks. Remember you kids, thumbs are up, never down.
USA