Getting Railed On The Rails

Most, if not all, people who read this blog are probably aware that I have the self-proclaimed nickname "Nighttrain" My whole life I have always admired trains mostly because they always have a place to be and because they are historically important. Also, they are such powerful machines that are essential to daily life (Metra, the EL, freights) but most importantly when you are a kid you could chuck rocks at them without breaking anything or getting in trouble and yet you still felt like a BA Baracus.


You must be wondering why I am writing on trains, well, those stiffs in Europe have done it again. They decided to make a train for singles only. The wonderful stiff filled country of the Czech Republic, decided they wanted to entice its citizens ride the rails everyday instead of driving. So they decided to go after the most logical demographic, lonely, horned up, citizens of Prague. I think it would be pretty interesting if this happened on the Red Line, you would have a solid mixture of Frat boys named Chad wearing bright turquoise polos and a trucker hat that says "I Heart Beer" some homeless gents already passed out, a horrified mother who stepped onto the wrong car, a couple of nerds in suits hoping they will find the one, and probably some cat/bag ladies. The possibilities are obviously endless.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/22/prague-love-train_n_3320915.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird%20News

One thing I learned from taking the CTA and even taking a nap on the CTA once or six times is that Chicago is a pretty weird place. The Red Line is a weirder place at any time f the day.  I think the Singles Train would be great in places like Salt Lake where life is pretty lame, but in major cities, you are asking for a steamy Turkish Bathhouse with large windows that reaches speeds up to 50 mphs, and travels from 95th street to Howard. Great idea. Obviously Czechs really are stiffed up for this one... If ya know what I mean.



Since were on the topic of fucking around on public transportation, Wild Card of The Week goes to Mr. John, a bus driver who pranked some brats pretty hard on April Fools.

If you don't know this scene, we're not friends

In grade school long bus rides were the best way to annoyingly punish the teachers on the bus. A young Bill once sang 99 bottles of beer on the wall. I'm pretty sure the whole bus was annoyed, but every sang 99- about 89 then 10-0. With zero "bottles of beer on the wall" erupting the biggest applause ever. I've never realized how much punishment bus drivers take. Literally 70 kids screaming nonsense for an extended amount of time. Plus, you have your back to them so you have no idea what is going on. I guarantee that any bus driver in the 90's heard "NO YELLING ON THE BUS" or "This bus driver is an animal" hundreds of times, thanks to  Billy Madison.

But this fucking guy, pranked the brats who are too lazy to walk to school pretty hard. As a April Fools joke, one of my favorite days, he told the kids, on a Monday, that there was a flood and that school was going to be cancelled. After that, he said all they had to do was drive into school, check in and walk back to the bus... The bus went nuts, kids immediately started screaming. The underachievers were probably thinking it was a good idea not to do the weekends homework. A girl pulls out a smart phone to probably post a selfie on myspace.

A little later, the herd finds out that its just a hilarious and pretty cruel joke. The bus driver, Mr John. starts this devils laugh. You know this guy has been waiting for a year, if not, a life time, to get these kids back. Some little girl screams out "I hate you Mr. John!!!" His response, "I know" Genius. I wish the camera would show the ear to ear smile on his face, cause it would have been a hilarious cover
photo.

 Well anyways, here it is your Wild Card of the Week.  Mr John, from parts unknown.

http://www.digitalspy.com/odd/news/a483949/bus-driver-pranks-students-school-is-canceled-funny-video.html


Well thats it folks. Remember you kids, thumbs are up, never down.
USA

How the Cubs Ruined/Enhanced Sports On A Young Billy

Well Spring is here which means, Fourth of July, BBQ's, and sadly baseball in Chicago. The normal daily grind of waking up and finding out how the Cubs managed to lose the night before. Granted, I love the Cubs and going to Wrigley Field, but sadly, I am not a 8-16 year old kid who loved baseball more than anything in life. I remember listening to Cubs games during my Spanish class, probably why I still struggle in that language. But somewhere along the way, (2008) I decided I would never get excited about the Cubs. As Steve Goodman once said about the Cubs, "They stole my youth from me and thats the truth" Freshman year in college (when the Cubs were expected to go far in the post-season) I decided not to get my hopes up for the Cubs. Yet, I cannot help it.

This is not about the Cubs though, this is about what I learned/experienced from them. The Cubs are known for 'choking' or 'blowing it' but that taught me something about sports, its unpredictable and its wonderful. The Cubs taught me to appreciate sports. Here is a short list of what I never do, because of the Cubs

5. Never boo your own players.
4. Get to the game early
3. Get excited
2. Wear your colors with pride
1. Never leave a game early


What the Cubs really taught me is that it is awesome and terrible to be a part of something you have no control over. When the Cubs lost in '03 I was heart-broken and I couldn't stop crying, I was 13. When they bowed out in '08. I expected it, but couldn't accept it. Despite this, I have some magical memories of the Cubs and other sports because literally, anything can happen and thanks to the failures of the Cubs, every success is magnified by 1,000,000

Blackhawks v Calgary Flames- October 12th 2009
Blackhawks look pathetic and go down 5-0. Late in the first period and a few fans start to filter out..... Big mistake. Me and my friends obviously stuck it out for one of the greatest comebacks I have seen.

USA v Costa Rica March- World Cup Qualifier - March 22nd 2013

USA in a must win game during a blizzard. Unforgettable. Leading up to the game, I was openly wishing it would snow. Not only did it snow, it was in the middle of a blizzard that crippled the city the next day. Although it was wet, cold, and windy, it was one of the greatest experiences in my life. Thousands of fellow USA fans flocking to the parking lot hours before the game all united for one team. Not knowing if the USA was gonna succumb to another embarrassing defeat or rise to the occasion and win a vital game. See for yourself what happened.



For me, the Cubs taught me that sports is something beautiful. You cannot control the outcome no matter how badly you want to. Defeats make you appreciate victory. They have the ability to stop wars (World Cup 06) Fans support their team because they cannot get enough of the drug that is winning and being crowned a Champion. What I sadly learned from the Cubs that every little victory is worth something, since the Cubs rarely win, you gotta cherish the moments that make you feel like a winner. This can obviously be applied to life. If you find twenty dollars on the ground, spend it on some friends and enjoy the simple victory, little stuff like that makes the difference. The Cubs may never win in my life time, but that doesn't mean I can't go to any sporting game and throw as much passion out there as I possibly can and maybe, just maybe, the team will win and all the problems in the world melt away for a couple of hours. I realized that sporting events are the only place where you can have a laugh, scream, and cry without being looked up as crazy or be thrown in jail.

Thank you Chicago Cubs, but dammit, win a fucking World Series so Chicago can lose its mind for a few days.

Trees and Graduation

I haven't posted on here for awhile because I was super busy and lazy, but like America in a post-recession era, "WERE BACK BABY" Since my last (1st) post I've drove to Florida and back with two buddies, celebrated Saint Patricks day a few times, and flew to Denver to see a World Cup Qualifier. Through these excursions I had many things I thought about writing, but I cannot remember any of them. So I'm gonna write about some nonsense that I found online that I think is worth typing about.

http://www.digitalspy.com/odd/news/a472668/man-spends-16-hours-up-a-tree-to-avoid-being-deported-pictures.html

Wild Card of the week goes to this animal (no pun intended), apparently this cannon decides that the best way for an illegal immigrant to avoid deportation is to climb a tree and stay for for extended periods of time yelling about how he doesn't want to be deported. The story is quite short and does not offer too much detail on why Montequilla over here is worried about deportation, but I'm pretty sure nobody really noticed this guy or even cared if he was here legal or illegal until he brought the attention on it. Personally illegal immigrants do not really bother me, its another fact of urban life I am used to. With that being said, this guy needs to figure it out. Climbing a tree, staying in the tree, and yelling that you do not want to be deported is a sure fire way to be deported. 

I must admit though, I like how the guy is enjoying his time with mother nature I must commend him for the 16 straight hours of standing in a fucking tree. I really do not want to think about how he relieved himself during that time period. Fair play Mr. Tree Climbing Man, I bet you inspired some adolescents in the neighborhood to climb trees and demand more Pokemon cards.

On a more serious note, graduation is around the corner and I couldn't even tell you what is going on. I think I have a cap and gown? I think I walk on the 9th? I think I will pass my classes? I think I will become a teacher? All of this uncertainty is really a confusing time. I usually, never look more than one week into the future, unless I have some concert/sporting that requires careful planning of how I will get drunk/get home.  Other than that, I refuse to look forward. That is business as usual for myself. During senior year in high school, I visited two school Eastern and Western Illinois because my parents made me. The truth was I did not want to visit schools because it was a sign of a major change looming large. As I sit here typing this, I realize that a much bigger change is weeks away.

This thing called graduation, I feel, is way too overhyped. People talk about graduating college like you are going off the side of a cliff. I am about as excited to graduate as one would be if they were going to jump off the side of a cliff. I do not know what to expect, nobody does, I guess. I'm a solid 22 years old, but I still feel like a 18 year old whose primary concern is to buy a case a beer with a fake id. I feel like a common soldier the night before a battle or invasion, you have no idea what is going to happen, you have some idea, but little to no reassurance what will play out. I know that I want to teach high school social studies. Will I be teaching 5 years from now or will my main concern be bowling, drinking white Russians, and trying to stop Asian Americans from pissing on my rug? Who knows.

Lastly, for all you kids out there, do not refer to post-graduation life as "The Real World" The Real World is a MTV show that pumps semi brain dead people full of booze and tapes it. Do not kid yourselves short. There was nothing fake about college. No matter what you did, how you acted, what you did/didn't accomplished, the triumphs and tragedies, this was the real life. You could act the way you wanted to act without a care in the world. In my opinion, thats the way it is supposed to be. Always remember, a sandwich is a sandwich, but a manwich is a meal.

Just The Beginning?

Hello all,

Maybe you stumbled upon this or maybe I posted it on the facebook/tweeter. However you got here, I appreciate you reading it. If you do not like it, you got the power to hit the 'x'.

Currently I am in intense pain, I just had surgery or a procedure (not sure what to call it) to repair parts of my mouth, gums, and eventually the jaw. The doctor said these 'pain pills' will make me feel like "you had a few too many beers" Needless to say I got excited. Now that I have taken them, I think the doctor is a Mormon or has never "had a few too many beers" or any beer in his life.  Despite being on pain pills, I still feel like somebody took a bat to the left half of my face. The worst part is, I cannot enjoy Saturday night with some pops. Along with that, I am bored at home, hence the blog.

All my education classes told me to start with a 'hook' at the beginning of each lesson. In hopes of keeping your interest, I'm just gonna explain why I started a blog.


One of my favorite professors Jay Prefontaine (not the runner) told me to keep writing. He told me very bluntly, that I had miserable mechanics, terrible sentence structure, and horrid flow. He also said, that  he could tell there was a decent, humorous and genuinely interesting writer in there. I don't believe him, but blogging is a decent way to practice writing that does not have to be turned in.

I literally was just going to explain the multiple reasons defending my reasons for the blog, but I realized I am just gonna tell the story of Schrum.

Most of you are asking what/who is 'Schrum" the easy answer is Jay Prefontaine, the professor I mentioned above. He was a professor I had my freshman year, Spring Semester at Eastern Illinois. Schrum's class was similar to drinking for the first time. Its bad and unusual, but the more you drink, the better it tastes, the better you feel, and the better Shannon Green looks. What stuck out about his class was that the first thing he told us:

 "I don't wanna know your name, I don't care about your name, I'm not gonna call you by your name. Pick out a name that you think represents you, or is the exact opposite of you. Go."

So the class picked out names like, "Jinklesniff," Afterword," or "Dragon-Lover" I cannot remember all of them,  I wish I did. The names were great  you would see some classmates at a party and you would say "Dude you're Jinklesniff" and instantly become best friends.  I didn't know what to pick so I picked out a character from the last movie I saw, Kelly's Heroes. The name Oddball was born. When we all had our names written down we had to give Prefontaine one. A kid in the back yelled "Schrooms" we eventually "Schrum" was born.

It was a pretty fitting name, Schrum would wear a worn down beanie hat, hiding a semi-bald man with a mohawk starting from the top of his head to the back. He explained that everybody his age was bald or balding and he was the only one with a balding with a mohawk... "This is fucking weird" I thought, but I decided to roll with it, because I understood what he was doing. I was right, the class was weird, but greatly rewarding.

                                                                    ***Side Note***
When I say rewarding it is not the Disney Channel version, where he altered my life and saved me from a life of gangs, drugs, and alcohol. His class was rewarding because we did not waste his time and he would never waste our time.
                                                                  ***************

We read some crazy fiction stories that seemed so 'unique' that I wondered if the Dean of English ever saw the titles of these stories Schrum would be tossed out of EIU.

For Example:

The first story we read was Roger Hart's "Lubing"

It dealt with a awkward, sex crazed 17 year old, drop out mechanic and a 'cougar'. I'll let you imagine where the story goes.

This guy might sound like a complete creep to some, if not all, but the man was interesting. He, like the class, was so complicated yet simple you wanted to read these twisted stories and think about it. He did not have a teaching method, that was fine. It was more an experience and what we thought. I'm an avid notetaker, I do not know why, I think its because I'm awkward and I do not know what to do with my hands, but I never took down one note in this class. It was all discussion and papers. The papers were actually pretty entertaining to do. They were difficult to write, mainly because you did not want people in the library to see what you were writing about. But that was Schrum's class.

I wish I still had those papers saved on my computer mainly so I could reread those short stories, but those are long gone. It is also quite awkward to google search "Roger Hart, Lubing" on your family's computer. I'll spare my mom that. I'll also spare the riders on the Red Line. I do not want to end up on "People Of The CTA"

The final exam was easy. Character names, main themes, what happened. The exam was just a formality the English Dept. made all the teachers due. The work was in the discussion and papers. That final will always stick out because written on the board was the name of the bar the class should meet at after the test. I always tell my friends I went to the bar, but I never did. At that time I did not have a fake. I always regretted not going, I think most of the class ended up not going, after talking to a few classmates. I wish I sacked up and went.

I took Schrum's class in the Spring of 2009, just when I was starting to gain a foothold in college. It was nice, I was trying to make new friends and establish myself, but then summer came and it was back to mom, dad, sisters, and work. No escape.

I did not need another English credit in the fall so I did not take Schrum's class again and in the spring of 2010 I transferred to Loyola.

I was in a Childhood Development Class with some Dr. who handed out B's like she was getting paid for it (she was). So during the last few weeks the class had 10-20 minute class presentations, I cannot remember the specific time because it didn't matter tome so I brought the computer to avoid paying any attention to the other 50 presentations. I decided to looked up Schrum, his real name, to see what I could find online. I thought I would find a story or two of his instead this is what I found:

"Jay Robert Prefontaine Obituary"


I wasn't sad about his death. I certainly wasn't happy about it, but I was content in a gloomy way. Maybe it was going out the night before and being hungover, but i realized I had a great experience with him and the class. I remember that the most routine elements of his class was completely different than other classes. Try sitting through roll call with names like Jinklesniff, Afterword, Schrum, and Oddball" Schrum reminds me of an old building thats gone or tore down. You remember the small things that stuck out or were flawed and you appreciate it. This is one of my last memories of Schrum's class.  An argument broke out about Obama's election or God being real and Schrum who wanted to get out of the classroom and have a few said:

"Guys, who the fuck cares, lets take this test and discuss it over some suds"

Test was handed out. Boom.



For The Bhoys,
Billy