Maybe you stumbled upon this or maybe I posted it on the facebook/tweeter. However you got here, I appreciate you reading it. If you do not like it, you got the power to hit the 'x'.
Currently I am in intense pain, I just had surgery or a procedure (not sure what to call it) to repair parts of my mouth, gums, and eventually the jaw. The doctor said these 'pain pills' will make me feel like "you had a few too many beers" Needless to say I got excited. Now that I have taken them, I think the doctor is a Mormon or has never "had a few too many beers" or any beer in his life. Despite being on pain pills, I still feel like somebody took a bat to the left half of my face. The worst part is, I cannot enjoy Saturday night with some pops. Along with that, I am bored at home, hence the blog.
All my education classes told me to start with a 'hook' at the beginning of each lesson. In hopes of keeping your interest, I'm just gonna explain why I started a blog.
One of my favorite professors Jay Prefontaine (not the runner) told me to keep writing. He told me very bluntly, that I had miserable mechanics, terrible sentence structure, and horrid flow. He also said, that he could tell there was a decent, humorous and genuinely interesting writer in there. I don't believe him, but blogging is a decent way to practice writing that does not have to be turned in.
I literally was just going to explain the multiple reasons defending my reasons for the blog, but I realized I am just gonna tell the story of Schrum.
Most of you are asking what/who is 'Schrum" the easy answer is Jay Prefontaine, the professor I mentioned above. He was a professor I had my freshman year, Spring Semester at Eastern Illinois. Schrum's class was similar to drinking for the first time. Its bad and unusual, but the more you drink, the better it tastes, the better you feel, and the better Shannon Green looks. What stuck out about his class was that the first thing he told us:
"I don't wanna know your name, I don't care about your name, I'm not gonna call you by your name. Pick out a name that you think represents you, or is the exact opposite of you. Go."
So the class picked out names like, "Jinklesniff," Afterword," or "Dragon-Lover" I cannot remember all of them, I wish I did. The names were great you would see some classmates at a party and you would say "Dude you're Jinklesniff" and instantly become best friends. I didn't know what to pick so I picked out a character from the last movie I saw, Kelly's Heroes. The name Oddball was born. When we all had our names written down we had to give Prefontaine one. A kid in the back yelled "Schrooms" we eventually "Schrum" was born.It was a pretty fitting name, Schrum would wear a worn down beanie hat, hiding a semi-bald man with a mohawk starting from the top of his head to the back. He explained that everybody his age was bald or balding and he was the only one with a balding with a mohawk... "This is fucking weird" I thought, but I decided to roll with it, because I understood what he was doing. I was right, the class was weird, but greatly rewarding.
***Side Note***
When I say rewarding it is not the Disney Channel version, where he altered my life and saved me from a life of gangs, drugs, and alcohol. His class was rewarding because we did not waste his time and he would never waste our time.
***************
We read some crazy fiction stories that seemed so 'unique' that I wondered if the Dean of English ever saw the titles of these stories Schrum would be tossed out of EIU.
For Example:
The first story we read was Roger Hart's "Lubing"
It dealt with a awkward, sex crazed 17 year old, drop out mechanic and a 'cougar'. I'll let you imagine where the story goes.
This guy might sound like a complete creep to some, if not all, but the man was interesting. He, like the class, was so complicated yet simple you wanted to read these twisted stories and think about it. He did not have a teaching method, that was fine. It was more an experience and what we thought. I'm an avid notetaker, I do not know why, I think its because I'm awkward and I do not know what to do with my hands, but I never took down one note in this class. It was all discussion and papers. The papers were actually pretty entertaining to do. They were difficult to write, mainly because you did not want people in the library to see what you were writing about. But that was Schrum's class.
I wish I still had those papers saved on my computer mainly so I could reread those short stories, but those are long gone. It is also quite awkward to google search "Roger Hart, Lubing" on your family's computer. I'll spare my mom that. I'll also spare the riders on the Red Line. I do not want to end up on "People Of The CTA"
The final exam was easy. Character names, main themes, what happened. The exam was just a formality the English Dept. made all the teachers due. The work was in the discussion and papers. That final will always stick out because written on the board was the name of the bar the class should meet at after the test. I always tell my friends I went to the bar, but I never did. At that time I did not have a fake. I always regretted not going, I think most of the class ended up not going, after talking to a few classmates. I wish I sacked up and went.
I took Schrum's class in the Spring of 2009, just when I was starting to gain a foothold in college. It was nice, I was trying to make new friends and establish myself, but then summer came and it was back to mom, dad, sisters, and work. No escape.
I did not need another English credit in the fall so I did not take Schrum's class again and in the spring of 2010 I transferred to Loyola.
I was in a Childhood Development Class with some Dr. who handed out B's like she was getting paid for it (she was). So during the last few weeks the class had 10-20 minute class presentations, I cannot remember the specific time because it didn't matter tome so I brought the computer to avoid paying any attention to the other 50 presentations. I decided to looked up Schrum, his real name, to see what I could find online. I thought I would find a story or two of his instead this is what I found:
"Jay Robert Prefontaine Obituary"
I wasn't sad about his death. I certainly wasn't happy about it, but I was content in a gloomy way. Maybe it was going out the night before and being hungover, but i realized I had a great experience with him and the class. I remember that the most routine elements of his class was completely different than other classes. Try sitting through roll call with names like Jinklesniff, Afterword, Schrum, and Oddball" Schrum reminds me of an old building thats gone or tore down. You remember the small things that stuck out or were flawed and you appreciate it. This is one of my last memories of Schrum's class. An argument broke out about Obama's election or God being real and Schrum who wanted to get out of the classroom and have a few said:
"Guys, who the fuck cares, lets take this test and discuss it over some suds"
Test was handed out. Boom.
For The Bhoys,
Billy
